Drafting a Personal Statement, Going through Writing Hell

I am trying to follow the guidelines laid out in the previous post about using characteristics or traits that I want to flesh out. The going is rough though as I am never really quite good at self-promoting or writing with vivid descriptions. 

I have the following below:

When initially setting up the discussion, the age of the patient plays center role. For one elderly gentleman, Mr. Jackson, I talked about US presidents of their time such as John F. Kennedy (JFK), and Lydon B. Johnson.

The conversation quickly spiraled into a discussion of New York City (NYC) mayors and the past city environment. In the days of yore, the city was crime ridden and undergoing urban decay. The poor environment painted a negative view of public services that affected the man to this very day. As a result, he was reluctant to rely on public transport and always preferred driving to any destination. However, he was developing cataracts and was losing visual acuity. This issue was impacting his entire life as he lived in a Long Island suburb. He was relegated to using the dreaded Access-A-Ride, known for its tardy service. I could sympathize as traveling from the suburbs to go to any destination without a car is close to impossible for the handicapped. This personal connection gave greater emphasis to accommodate him and to ensure schedule flexibility with his appointments. Just remembering the patients in the first place is the key to personalized healthcare. Sounds simple, but being able to recall one patient among the many can be quite challenging.

 My previous knowledge History is powerful tool to connect to patients on a personal level. By reaching into the past, I can invoke a sense of nostalgia as well as empathize with patients by linking to the present. At in Elmhurst,  As a medical assistant, I have ample time to chat with patients about the history of New York City or the history of the United States (US). During the Often time conversations can be linked to present day circumstances and can help form personal connections central to high quality care.

Yet just understanding and remembering a patient is not enough to help them. Once the task was outside my scope of practice, I was left helpless. Many of the medications and forms for specialty services required a nurse or doctor to sign off. In these scenarios, I was a glorified phone operator taking and passing messages along. Often both, the doctor and nurse, were already swamped with in basket messages and it would take hours or days to get back to each patient. One particularly gnawing incident was an elderly couple that had come to apply for the blue disability parking tag. Unfortunately, they had absolutely no idea where to begin and came with just the vague notion that they needed a health clearance. After going in a blind search for the specific form required, I needed to find a doctor to assign them to as their regular doctor was out. Another few days of frustration and frantic calls later, they finally managed to get their blue card in the mail about weeks later. This incident left me disheartened about the limitations of my job and pushed me to move up to a higher-tier healthcare professional.

Knowing the context behind a person’s life is important to craft a close relationship. The past shapes the background for the present. However, without the ability to follow up and act on that connection, not much can be accomplished. I ...